Ryan: Let them eat corn!!

Unless you're someone who makes the state fair circuit a regular pastime, news that Iowa State Fair's giant pumpkin competition took a huge hit this year is barely a blip on your radar.

Due to a persistent drought and the hottest July in the recorded history of Julys, this year's weigh-in for the behemoth gourds showed significant weight reduction among its top giants. For the first time in years, the winner clocked in at under 1,000 pounds.

As though to soften the competitive blow, farmer Dan Carlson, half of the winning Peterson-Carlson team for the past three years, pointed to farmers facing fates worse than their own, asking, "Have you seen the corn crop lately?”

It was among all this talk of less than super-sized pumpkins and drought and devastated corn crops that Republican vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan came to stump for votes.

Whoa, dude, keep your mitts off my offshore account

Watch the pained expression on Willard Romney's face as he listens to new soul mate Paul Ryan put in harm's way the millions he's squirreled away overseas as the realization hits that he forgot to get that goshdarned prenup signed.

 "What we're saying is, take away the tax shelters that are uniquely enjoyed by people in the top tax brackets so they can't shelter as much money from taxation, that should lower tax rates for everybody to make America more competitive."

Happy Days are here again! Ryan joins the Willard ticket

The 1 percent can now pop that Shipwrecked 1907 Heidsieck bubbly they've been saving for a happy occasion now that Willard Galt Romney has picked little Richie Rich Ryan to join his of out-of-touch team of whiners. Back to the future we go.