Saturday, April 27, 2013

The Rick Perry 'Pro-Business,' Anti-Regulation Business-is-Booming Cross-Country Juggernaut

"when you have a politician traveling across the country selling a state with low regulatory capacity, that politician also has to be accountable for what happens when that lack of regulation proves to be fatal.
That's exponentially more offensive to me."
Rick Perry has responded to the above cartoon "with extreme disgust and disappointment."

Governor, the cartoon that disgusts and disappoints this Texas citizen even more than the one pictured above is that of a callous elected state representative running around the country suggesting that his state condones your lazy and lackadaisical oversight of the hundreds of dangerous enterprises currently operating here.

The cartoon character who, after witnessing 14 people killed, over 200 injured and more than 350 homes damaged, trotted to Illinois and said, "Through their elected officials [people] clearly send the message of their comfort with the amount of oversight.”

That, Mr. Perry is the epitome of disgusting, disappointing rhetoric.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Dear Beantown, I'm so sorry for our loss

I've been following with great interest the developments in my home state following the tragic bombing that cost dear loss of life and limb.

When the story broke of explosions in the Copley area, I was horrified to hear of such tragedy so near my old stomping grounds. Despite my joy knowing my family and friends are safely tucked away in the western part of the state, I feel deeply distressed at the ensuing news.

So, I shall flick my Boston Bruins lighter I picked up at a local corner store while grabbing an early-morning Dunkin' Donuts coffee and send my beloved state some serious love and condolences. Peace to all.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Democrats vs. the 21st Century Nero

Hoo, boy. Look at those buffoon Republicans over there. They don't have a chance at the White House in 2016.

Yuck, yuck, yuck. Did you hear the one about the Republican Senate candidate who went down in flames over some stupid rape comments? Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle. Which one?

Oh, that Reince Priebus. He, batshit insane NRA chief LaPierre and that whacky neurosurgeon who got laughed off the front pages are in real trouble. That gets a guffaw.

Now, one might suspect that "Nero" in this modern tale would be the Democrats -- fiddling away as the political Rome burned to the ground at their feet. It's not.

The real Nero, in this The Year of Our Lord 2013, is the combined forces of the Conservative establishment, the Republican Party and their billionaire patron saints. Democrats, as our city is consumed, stand in the wings pointing and mocking the bumbling ineptitude of our rivals.

A stark parallel arises from this tale from Ancient Rome. Indisputably, Nero was a ruthlessly brutal and cruel emperor who is said to have "engaged in every sort of obscenity." He took office with a plan -- a sprawling palatial complex, a Domus Aurea -- but had no room for it in the crowded city. Until a massive fire of dubious origin ravaged the sprawling metropolis, conveniently making room not only for the palace but for an urban center the young ruler had been building in his mind over the years.

For our purposes, I'll admit that no one really knows how that fire got started. What we do know is who got final say in what happened after it. Nero got both his palace and his model city. In our modern analogy, he shuttered or limited access to most abortion clinics, spread "Stand Your Ground" laws like a contagion, re-drew districts to his advantage and wrested control of state legislatures. And, having laughed mightily at Nero's miserable fire response, Democrats now stand by scratching their heads wondering how it is that most Americans support background checks but they can't seem to get those danged laws passed ... even with a powerful tailwind pushing them #Forward.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Who could have possibly seen THIS coming?

In the rush to extract the last possible drop of crude from the ground and push the most toxic fossil fuel on the planet through the pristine American mid-western plains, Canada's greedy bastards joined forces with America's greedy bastards to foist the environmentally dangerous XL Pipeline on America's unwitting citizenry.

State Department: No Environmental Reason To Delay Keystone XL 

If you haven't guessed by now, Truth rushed in and slapped a whole bunch of "RealTM" Americans bang upside their ever-trusting heads. The town of Mayfield, Arkansas, gained notoriety over the Easter weekend as Exxon-Mobil went out of its way to prove the State Department big, fat liars. Aw, hell, the fat cats could have been satisfied with their global record-setting $44 billion in profits, but naw, why not go fuck over a middle-class neighborhood and its nearby fishing hole. After all, the majority of these Red State denizens were probably too busy online bashing the Obama Administration for giving a shit about their delightful little homes and local water supply to notice the sludge rushing into the subdivision.

Monday, April 1, 2013

CRYBABY: Racist moron dishes hate then buckles under heat

Cloaked with the veil of social network anonymity, they're big, bad, bold and bodacious. They spew racism and spread hate. They talk smack about the weakest among us pumped up on power, entitlement and, I suspect, steroids. They're a new breed of cyber-bully -- cowards so full of self-loathing, fear and conspiracy theories that they can live next door to you wearing their daytime personas so neatly that you'd never believe they could muster such hate in their hearts.

They talk of Jesus and the Bible and The Constitution in such glowing terms that you greet them each day fully believing that they actually believe in these things. They posture as some cartoon caricature of a dime novel hero: someone strong, invincible and bearing the standard of justice and morality.

Yet, the latest poster boy of such jingoistic "heroism" did the unthinkable in these circles of contrived bravado: he sat down and cried when caught. John Wayne would be sad to see it.

Meet Timothy Dluhos, the 34-year-old FDNY EMS lieutenant and latest variety of the legend in my own mind sort who boldly went where no real hero resides: Twitter. Here, he ranted and raved about the injustices of being an EMS lieutenant in the largest, most diverse U.S. city on a public forum -- not smart enough to know the genesis of TMI is always knowable. And, after blowing hard about the badass nature of guns and brawn, was too whiny to hold up to questioning from a wimp reporter armed with a mere notepad and pen.

Here's his reaction:

Pull up your diapers, man. You sort of look like this girl ...