Fox, Ann Romney still whine about getting picked on

[Update: 9/23/2012] In our latest bawlfest, Miss Ann lashes out at Republicans for taking her husband to task for his “rolling calamity” of a presidential run. After breaking the "no crying in politics" rule yet again, the Romneybot's Best Asset and Woman Whisperer was yanked off the trail and relegated to scrounging for cash. Bonus "This is Hard" video courtesy of ColumnFiftyFive.

[Now back to our regularly scheduled entertainment from Fox Comedy]

Based on this interview, Fox News should immediately surrender their White House press credentials, not being members of "the media" and all. Top that with the ongoing whinging of poor, pathetic Ann Romney who's spent her life living comfortably on the backs of outsourced American jobs and off-shored American tax dollars.

Break out the hankies before viewing our aspiring First Bellyacher in her heroic campaign to stand beside our first Wimp-in-Chief. This political soap opera will just break your heart.

Willard plays the refs, bats 0-2

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. In fact, it was just this morning. I remember it like it was today.

Yeah, you know ... when the Boston Globe ran a devastating article entitled, "Mitt Romney stayed at Bain 3 years longer than he stated."

Now, having whiffed on the first pitch thrown across the plate by the Washington Post, the gallant Romney team stepped up to the plate for a second at bat with a second pitcher.

"We are drafting a formal [correction] request, they will have today,” wrote Romney Press Secretary Andrea Saul.

Swing batter, batter, swing!

Adventures in Wingnutia: Maine Kampf Edition Redux

It's not often that on one's way to a reprise of an already-established apology, one trips over the words and falls deeper into stupidity.

But that's exactly what happened to the Pine Tree State's governor not very long ago.

This morning, Maine Gov. Paul LePage was in Vermont (out of respect for the citizens of that state, I have to believe it was an illegal border crossing) for a fundraiser.

The hilarious tale unfolds from there.

"Standing by Brock's side at the Sheraton in South Burlington, the Maine governor said, "What I am trying to say is the Holocaust was a horrific crime against humanity and, frankly, I would never want to see that repeated. Maybe the IRS is not quite as bad -- yet."

LePage then said, "They're headed in that direction."

Asked if he had a sense of what the Gestapo did during the second world war, LePage said, "Yeah, they killed a lot of people."

Asked whether the IRS "was headed in the direction of killing a lot of people," LePage answered: "Yeah."

Now teacher gave you two chance, Paulie and you still failed the test. Dummkopf

Adventures in Wingnutia: Maine Kampf Edition

 One of the toughest undertakings a reasonable mind can attempt is a slog through Wingnutspeak.

Regular folks listen to words through the prism of regular meaning. What one reasonably cannot expect the rational mind to do, however, is distort commonly understood lexicon into the ever-shifting maladaptations presented by the New Conservative Collective. Wingnutspeak wouldn't be that demanding an undertaking if it had either a basis in reality or didn't shift from day to day.

Let's take a recent example: Maine Tea Party dimwit Paul LePage's most recent ramblings about "something something freedom something Gestapo something IRS something something Obamacare something." I only invoke LePage's name because he's in the news now, but that quote is as Tea Party formula as Giulliani's "noun-verb-9/11" construct. The problem for sane Americans becomes "Whatever in the hell is that ginormous lunatic bloviating about?"

It really just comes down to interpretation and in order to understand the words being vomited, one must toss aside all the usual reference books and turn to the Wingnut Translation Service for the day.

Let me try my hand at guiding you through the crazy.

Get that woman a waaambulance, STAT!

“No. 1, they’re not correct. It makes you recognize that they are gonna do everything they can to destroy Mitt,” Ann Romney recently whimpered.

  

Willard Mitt unzipped on January 30, 2012:

On The Today Show this morning, Mitt Romney responded to a New York Times piece detailing the campaign's strategy to win Florida by destroying Newt Gingrich.

"There's no question that politics ain't bean bags, and we have made sure that our message is out loud and clear."